I Can't Carry On With My Life Anymore...

A present for u...

Dear, i know that u like Hello Kitty. Soon u will have a Hello Kitty blog created for you in near future... I'm now working on it le. I hope that you would like it. Well, today also as usual. so boring at home. So starts to create another blog for you. 1 & only 1 for you. That blog is specially for you k...

My feelings for you...


It was almost unbearable for us to be apart. In the absence of your presence, i found it hard to breathe. I couldn't eat nor could i sleep. I spent many long and lonely nights awake just thinking of you. My life felt empty and incomplete. God only knows how i got by. I love you & cherish you in every way. I hope we will see each other everyday & savor every moments we have together. Hoping you to come back into my life, my heart & soul. I will forever be yours lovingly, passionately and faithfully....

An Unexpected Call...

I'm So happy again... Managed to called my dear & we chat on the phone once more... I was so happy, i did not expect to hear from her again. But so surprise that yesterday i get to hear her voice especially on the ''22nd''. Although on the 22nd of the month, we can't get to see each other anymore, but i'm glad that i can hear her voice & feel the presence of her around.
I called her at around 5.00pm after i come out from bathing.It was ''22nd'' & i was so lonely & think of her. I thought that she will not answer my call again but i decided to give it a try and she picked up. Perhaps this is fate that we get to hear each other... We chat for about 15 to 20 mins before my dear wanted to go to bath & went dinner with her family. How i wish to go together with them like we used to... Anyway i'm glad to listen to her voice le... I still remember that we chat till 5.18pm then she put down the phone to help her mama to dry the clothes before go bath... I'm SO HAPPY...
After that i went out alone to eat my ''lunch'' cum dinner at Bukit Timah. How i wished to see her there... After finish eating then i realised that i'm actually seated on table 22. It's fate... Then i went home...So lonely at home. No one is at home. Then at around 12+, got nothing to do so i went down to Marina South as we used to go there together with our friends... to play on the Guitar machine. After our breakup, thats the only machine which i will play over at Marina South. It's was raining then. I was standing there all by myself. Feeling cold & lonely without her by my side... Think of a lot & how i wish to cry but i can't.... Dear, Please come back to me.... I Love You...

22nd Oct 05... Our 6Years 4Months...If...

Dear, its our 6Years 4 month if we are still together. Don't worry, the counter will still counts in my heart... The Years & the months will still be counting as long as my heart is on you.... Once i made my promise to love you forever & this will always be... So sad, you are not there with me to celebrate our mini anniversary where we used to have. Still remember the various small little bottle that i will always give it to you every 22nd of the month? Still remember that i will fold small little hearts using bus tickets(1 day 1 heart)
for you & i put it into the little bottle with some love peas? If i'm not wrong, you have about almost 20 bottle right? I still remember that u asked me to stop doing as u don't bear to see me spending so much...
I'm sorry if the amount of bottles that i give you is incorrect. I'm really afraid that you would say that i'm telling liars... Sorry...
I LOVE YOU DEAR!

"'LiarJack''...

Still remember ''LiarJack''? Do you missed him? Remember our NeoPet which u call him ''LiarJack'' is a monkey and u said that i look like him? Actually i have make this monkey for quite some time le & wanted to give it to u. But i did not...I'm sorry Dear. Now i'm unable to give it to u le. So i put it on the Blog for u... Hope u would like it. Btw i will mail it to you as a letter for u.
Dear, today is so boring... I'm on leave but still got to go back to work as i have a presentation to my Big Boss but it was cancelled! Then i met up with Jeslyn the AIA Financial Consultant to take up the ILP(Investment Linked Plan). After that i'm alone at around 1pm & i cant help thinking of you. I'm sorry... Then i actually went to your house. I don't know why but i know that i will not get to see you or rather i don't even know whether will you be at home. I just missed you so much... I'm sorry if this makes you angry. I really love you.
At around 2+, then i went home. Tidying up my room for the coming refurnish of my room. I will be painting my room soon. How i hope that you will be there together with me painting. Still remember we painted your house together? I really missed the moments...
i was so tired by then...At around 5pm, i took a nap. By then when i wake up, it was 9pm le. Feeling very sad & i don't know why my tears keeping droping down... I'm crying! I'm crying over our breakup... Dear, I missed you...

My Dear Talk to me!!!

So happy (moody feelings) to talk to my Dear Dear today! At around 4.46 pm, i tried to call her but she did not pick up my call. My feelings at that time was bad! Sad and feeling down...
Keep thinking of her and dont know what to do? Can't see her, can't hear her, can't feels her and also can't hug her... So miserable! How i wished to hug my Dear Dear...
Then at about 5.00pm, i decided to give a last try but instead i called her house. This time she picked up and i was so happy that i could not speak out a word to her. Initially she heard my voice and said that she is not around. We have been together for 6 years le, how could i not recognised her voice? We talked for 21mins to almost 22mins. How i wished to talk to her even longer like the time when we used to... How i wish to go back to the time when we first love one another. Dear, I told u in the phone that no matter what i will be always love u as i have promised not to leave you & be with u forever. U still remember? I will always be there for u no matter what happen to me and i sweared! I will wait for your return ok... I love you...

Our 3 months Breakup...

Time really flies very fast.... It have been 3 months since we have broke up. Have not been seeing each other for months le... I really missing Hai Lee like crazy! Today is the day where i felt the most miserable day of each month. I can't forget the night that we have broke up and i can't forget the stupid things that i have done on the night when we broke up.

Dear, When i'm not around by your side to give you the Kisses & Huggs when u need one, and i'm not by your side to pamper you, Do remember to think of me, dream of me even ok... I will always be there for u! Always remember that i will be behind you to give u the support & encouragements when you need one...

Trying to move on...

Days n Months have past... I tried my best to move on but it seems that i'm immobilized. I can't move on my life! It Sucks...! My days looks gloomy no matter how bright it will be. I'm Lost and seems hopeless although i hoped that Hai Lee will get back to me. I have lost a total of 7 kg and it seems nothing to me. How i wished to carry on my life together will her!

I think that to love a person is difficult, but to forget a person is even more difficult... I have regreted for my mistakes that lead to our breakups. But a relationship does not totally relied on just 1 person. Many people said that both is at fault or have mistakes that lead to breakups. No one is perfect! Not to talk about our relationship but it's the true to all relationship out there... I have made mistakes but could not be forgiven anymore... Really feel like dying...!

Why would things have happened so much in months! I really wish to be given 1 last chance just because i care, i treasure, i cherish for our love...

Words that tells my feelings...

Once I was lucky,
I owned your heart of loving.
But what I did was giving the worries to you,
and let you taste the loneliness without caring.
All the times we experienced I hurt you,
I had never blamed on myself only until you were leaving.
Once I took you for granted,
I hadn't cherished your giving.

If you still wish to come back,
I will use all to prove that you will never be crying.
If you still wish to accept me,
I will learn from smile and end up with grinning.

Times you were with me,
I forgot to pay attention to my behaving.
But now you have walked away from me,
That I realized you are like the air I'm breathing.
Remember the day you said goodbye to me?
How could you just leave me in the cold standing?
Few months has passed since we were apart,
but all I desire is still your returning...

A Girl that i can't Live without...

Dear, I don't wish to hear about your going
I've never felt like this before
I thought that you would be my wife
I don't want to be left anymore.
You told me that you loved me
It was hard for me to believe
That we have to went our own way
I never thought that you would leave.
You changed my life around
I cant turn back the clock
I wouldn't ever want to hurt you
I need you to be my rock.
i can't deleted you from my life
I think about you every day
But i cant make you love me again
All i can say is, wont you please stay?

I'm sorry...

I have made my mistakes and i'm sorry to hurt you Dear... If i really could turn back time, i really wish to turn back to the time where we just left our Secondary School.
I might have done wrong some where but i really don't mean it. Dear...
This Blog is created specially for you. Since i told you that i will tell you what i am doing after our break up and i have told you that i will change for you to come back to me... I really hope to see you looking at this Blog daily.
Why i have done so much for you is because I really Love You a lot and you mean so much to me. I really Swear that you are the girl that i love the most and can't live without. I'm trueful for our love... Dear, you might have leave me for your own happiness and found someone out there after our breakup. But i will wait for you no matter how... Although it's hurt to hear that you have fallen in love with another guy after we brokeup in a short period of time, but this means that i'm not good enough for you. No matter what, i will change myself to be a better guy for u...